A Conversation with a Stranger and a New Book.
Authenticity. It means being genuine, being your true self– with yourself and with other people. It’s surrender and tranquility. It’s showing up as the human you are, with flaws and all. It’s letting your light shine brightly into the world.
Authenticity takes practice. I was a shy kid, often putting on a mask of seriousness and not being my silly or intellectual self around others simply because I wanted to fit in. But over time I’ve come to learn the more I show up as myself, the more I will cross paths with others who are authentic too. Today I happened to share a moment of authenticity which led to a stranger becoming a friend.
After a 5:30am November Project workout followed by a cold Barton Springs swim, I went into my neighborhood coffeeshop hoping to get some deep work in. All the small tables were full, so I sat at a larger table. A few minutes later, a man with long hair and hippy vibes with a chihuahua came up to me and asked if it was okay if he shared the table. “Of course,” I said.
He sat down with his cold brew coffee and put down a stack of books on the table. Among them was the Tao Te Ching by Lao Tzu. Ha! I had just added that book to my Goodreads a few weeks ago, so I asked him about it. We jumped into conversation immediately and his little chihuahua made himself comfortable on my lap. Talk about authenticity, we both jumped into the deep waters of ancient philosophy, quoting the Greeks, Romans, and Taoism teachings. As we discussed philosophy and its application from theory into practice, the coffeeshop noises drowned out and we were transported back into ancient life.
He seemed well versed in ancient eastern philosophy like Buddhism and Taoism and I brought in a bit more western philosophy of Stoicism, then we found where we overlapped. He shared about how Ram Dass wrote about being in Manhattan and trying to meditate amidst the street noise and constant sirens. How we shouldn’t wait until there’s perfect peace, how we should be able to achieve that state of stillness no matter then noise. Then I shared about how Seneca wrote something similar of living above a loud gym and loud street noises yet being able to still find stillness. He shared about the writings of eastern philosphers and I shared about the writings of Ryan Holiday who teaches about western philosophy.
We talked about Malcolm X’s Autobiography and his fascinating life. How he turned an obstacle– prison– into an opporutnity to dedicate himself to reading and learning to articulate and storytell. He read the dictionary religiously during his 6.5 years in prison. We discussed the power of reading, sharing stories, and creating your unique path.
The subject of where we are from came up. I shared I’m from Colombia and he said his dad is from Bolivia. We switched seamlessly mid-sentence into speaking Spanish. “Have you heard of the word, ‘sabiduria?’” He asked. I said yes, that to me it means tranquility and wisdom. “Conoscer and saber are two common words meaning ‘to know’, but the rare one is ‘sabiduria’ meaning to know wisely.”
Next topic.
“Do you know how you can tell if someone is a real genuine Austinite?” He asked. “Authenticity.” He said it’s the ability to be yourself with a stranger. To share stories and have a deeper conversation. To discuss and debate and learn something new. “You’re a real Austinite,” he said to me.
I think we are often quick to undervalue the human connections that are constantly all around us. We often dismiss the potential for conversation when interacting with strangers. Why? Is it laziness? Is it self consciousness? Self- absorption? Ego? You never know who you’re sitting next to or how that stranger might have an impact on your life. Talk to strangers.
The past two years have been a real practice of being myself with strangers. Because strangers are just friends you haven’t met yet. If we go forth in life with the lens of just being yourself and being human with others, life becomes so much more enjoyable.
Once at a food truck park I was sharing a table with a stranger and we ended up sticking up conversation, which led me getting an internship with their company. Another time at a coffee shop I decided to start a pay-it-forward chain and ended up meeting someone with my same name, Maria, and same hometown of Bogota, Colombia. Another time I was biking and was held up at a stop light with another stranger and we started chatting, turns out they were opening a coffeeshop in my neighborhood so we became friends. That’s the same coffeeshop where I had my interaction with a stranger today. There are countless other instances where just being conversational with strangers has led to a beautiful friendship or interaction.
At the end of my conversation with the stranger at the coffeeshop today, as the chihuahua aua jumped off my lap, my new friend handed me his Tao Te Ching book. “For you,” He said.
There’s something special about passing on a book because it’s passing on knowledge. To me, this book is not just what I’ll learn from reading it, but the story attached to the kindness of this stranger who passed on this book he loves. He is entrusting me with it’s knowledge and teachings with the hopes that it will impact me as much as it did to him. I hope we meet again some day so I can return the favor and share one of my favorite books with him.
While I didn’t get much deep work done, this conversation and interaction with another authentic person was worth so much more than the email replies I was about to tackle. Moments like these are what bring joy to my life. And bring hope. They’re what keep life fun and meaningful. I’m a much better person for having had this shared conversation with someone I’ve never met before.
I hope more people have moments like these. Let us know be so closed off to strangers, you never know who you’ll meet or what you’ll learn or what nuggets of wisdom you’ll take with you.
